An Open Letter to My Foundation

***Originally posted on HerCampus.com.

To my foundation,

I remember the day I first met you. I walked into my local Sephora and there you were. You stood out in the crowd. Everyone had been telling me how great you were, and I knew I needed to have you. The first time we went out together, people complimented us, saying how good we looked together. I was addicted to the way you made me feel. I felt flawless when we were together.

I’m so grateful to you. You helped me get my confidence back. You transformed me from a girl that was self-conscious about the way she looked to a confident woman who knew how great she truly was. But because of that, I have to tell you– I don’t need you.

Don’t get me wrong, I still want us to go out together for special events and other adventures, but I have to let you know that I can’t be dependent on you anymore.

When we were first together, I found myself not being able to go anywhere without you. If you weren’t with me, I couldn’t let anyone see me. I thought I was nothing without you. Without you, people could see all of my imperfections. With you, those imperfections were gone. I finally felt good about myself.

I started noticing that when I was with you, I stood a little taller and I smiled a little brighter. I was so happy with you and I wanted to feel like that all the time. One day, after you were gone for the night, I stared at myself in the mirror. There was a pimple here and hyperpigmentation there, but it was me. So I smiled.

I went behind your back and did that a couple of nights feeling guilty, but eventually the smiles came more easily. I saw myself for who I really was without you and I was happy. I’ve learned to love myself with and without you.

I have imperfections, but that’s what makes me who I am. I love my imperfections when you’re not there just as much as I love dressing you up with a smokey eye and bright red lips. I’ve seen who I am without you and I love that person. I love who you are and everything you’ve done for me, but at the end of the day I wash you all off. You can’t be with me 24-hours of the day.

So foundation, this is far from a breakup. I love you, but I can’t and won’t let myself depend on you anymore.

Until the next adventure,

Xoxo, Katlyn

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